More dolls... and patience!

What is the worth of my work? I bought a Kirsten doll for 33 dollars, and fixed her up. I agreed to sell her below what I should to a woman for $65 all fixed up and with 2 outfits. Then she wanted the wig removed and special work done to her to make her look like her daughter. She wants me to sell it to her for $60. Like an idiot, I agreed. I want to back out now. How can I do this to myself?

Here are some before and after shots of this Kirsten:

Sean and Kim and BYU Homecoming

Well, tonight is BYU Homecoming, and Sean invited Kelsey to the dance. Kelsey and Sean are becoming a bit "chummy"! Kelsey invited Sean to her Homecoming at the High School, Sean invited her to BYU Homecoming. She is really a cute little gal. They wanted to be sure they were double-dating tonight, so Danny, Sean's friend, invited Kim to the dance, too. I got to be able to make a fun dinner for them.. I kind of went over-board! Erin and I made it like a restaurant. I gave them a choice of two things for everything, like this:

Appetizer: Included a salad ..

1- Homemade spicy vegetable beef soup.

2-Cream of Broccoli soup.

Main Course:

1- Meatloaf with choice of Baked Potato or Yummy Potato and

choice of buttered corn, buttered peas, or buttered green beans.

2- Cornish Game Hen with choice of Baked Potato or Yummy Potato and

choice of buttered corn, buttered peas, or buttered green beans.

Dessert:

1- Strawberry ice cream or

2- Triple Chocolate ice cream.

When they came to the table I had homemade rolls with butter and honey waiting for them. There was ice water, and with the main coarse came bubbly.

This was fun! Here are some pictures!

Doll repair and fun!

Erin and I have a new hobby together... doll repair! She wanted an American Girl doll for Christmas and I said, "I can't afford one"! We decided to get a beat up American Girl Samantha doll for $35.00 and fix it up. And we did! And it is beautiful! We got another beat up Samantha with the intention of selling it... but I fell in love with it and kept it! It represented what Erin and I did together and I just could not part with it. I am also into repairing and selling Crissy dolls... I have sold two now and have just picked up 4 more Crissy's, two Velvet dolls, and a 1930 doll and a 1950 doll.... totaling about $30.00. I sell the Crissy's for $20.00 a piece after I fix up/re-root hair and put clothes on her. Mary wants one of the Velvet dolls!

But one day Mary and I went to the thrift store and found what looked like a nice doll just needing her hair done. I took it home and it was a "My Twinn" doll. I had no idea what that was. I fixed her hair, put it on ebay... it sold for $62.00. I think I had help from Heavenly Father on that one!

So, anyone want to see the dolls I've done?! Here they are! I have just finished completely rebuilding an American Girl Doll Kirsten, too!

My favorite picture of the Savior

Mother's Day, Trials, and Dolls of the World

I was dusting my living room, trying to reach the top of the bookcase, which is always a trial for me! Bookcases, refrigerators, cabinets, whatever! I don't know why I bother to dust or clean them since I can't see them. Being short has it's benefits. Carefully I removed the small dolls sitting on top of the bookcase to dust them, and I paused to really look at them. They are small, clean, and delicate. I imagine my mother when she bought them for me...

It was a tough time in our life, I was about 8 or 9 years old. Mom and dad had split up and we were living with my Aunt Sylvia. Mom had to have felt heartbroken and sad, but she had two children to take care of and she was determined to make the best of things and take care of us.

Mom went to a school to learn to be a telephone operator, but somehow I never knew this. Maybe it was because, as a small child, I could not comprehend the responsibility my mother had for Bud and I. Maybe it was because, as a small child, I had enough to do to simply go to school, come home, and adjust to living in a new environment without my father. But mostly, I believe it had to do with my mother.

Every morning mom was there to help me dress, get my breakfast, and get me off to school. And as I left the yard to make my way, my mother stood at the end of the driveway and watched me walk down the road. I would often look back and see her standing there, and seeing her there gave me an extra boost of comfort. Then, as I came in the door each day, she was there to greet me. She would help me with my books and offer me an after school snack. If I needed to talk, she was always there. And somehow, when I was sick, she was there to care for me too. This is why it came to me as a surprise when I learned years later that my mother actually worked and went to school.

And that is why, when I look at those dolls, I remember my mother's sacrifice. It was during this period of time that my mother would bring me a "doll of the world" each time she filled up her car each week. "Arco" gas station, also known as "Atlantic Richfield", had a promotion of 12 "Dolls of the World" you could buy for a dollar each time you filled up with gas. Mom had to be counting her pennies at this time. As a child I could not see this, but as an adult I understand that my mother had to be very afraid. How could she provide for her children when she barely had a high school education? How could she relieve the burden she must have felt she was putting on her sister at this time?

And yet, her thoughts were always toward the well-being and happiness of her children. She felt that bringing me one of these dolls each time she filled up would bring me a small measure of joy during this difficult time in all of our lives. Mom's thoughts were always towards her children's happiness and well-being before her own.

Mom made many sacrifices for Bud and I, and I am grateful for the lessons she has taught me. I hope I can measure up to her tall example!

I love you, mom.

Updating---books, kids, and family history!

I really need to do this so much more regularly! Fun things have been happening here!

Kim: My BYU student is an incredible writter! She took some English class that required writting poetry, which she moaned she hated, but she turned out some great poetry! One she wrote about my mother, here it is:

Once you lived so close.
You babysat me
You gave me your jewelry box.

Remember the ant that bit me?
You ushered me to the bathroom.
I thought you were mad.
I think i was wrong.

Time passed.
You moved, we moved.
The illusion of space means nothing.

You loved the Lord.
You were the city on the Hill.
Because of you, my candle will not be hid.

Your path was filled with logs and stones,
Each one a dragon defeated by you, the knight.
You knew you did not face them alone.
Then came the dragon they call Cancer.

We came to your side as you fought.
You fought valiantly, but it was too late.
The dragon conquered.
Then it carried you home.

The dragon that befriended you
In turn tore into me.
But why should it hurt?

This greatest distance is but a veil.
So far, and yet close enough to be almost tanglible.
The breeze from my hand makes it flutter just out of reach.
What dragon will carry me through?

Kim has written some lighter, fun poems too. She is very creative. I was hoping she would be home during summer, but she needs to stay at college. Fortunately she isn't that far! Last week I had to take Sean to the periodontist to check his gum graft... We picked her up and took her to lunch! Second time we did that... it was a lovely time!

Sean: Won't have to leave afterall for college! He was accepted into the BYU music program on a scholarship! He will study on the Organ. He had an amazing experience last week. His now former piano teacher was a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir until today. He took Sean up to practice with him a week ago last Thursday, and the Tabernacle Organist gave him a tour of the Organ, and spoke with him. Some very touching moments happened there, it was a beautiful experience, one not to be forgotten! Sean now studies with a BYU professor, he is so diligent practicing. I don't know how much longer he will continue to teach piano lessons... his life is getting crowded. He still works for Subway but is applying other places. He applied at Macy's grocery store since they pay better, he will need a lot more money than he is getting at Subway. Also, a lady at Church that thinks highly of Sean is checking to see if she can get him a job at the bank she works at. Among his many activities, of course, is DATING!!! He went on a double date last week with his friend Chris to the zoo (what a sweet place to take girls!), and this coming weekend is Senior Prom. I keep begging him to let me make a special dinner for him and his friends that are going, but he just hems and haws! Sigh! It would be so much fun, and save them money! I mean, I'd make a wonderful dinner, make it a "retaurant" set up, and give them the entire downstairs to goof of, play games, eat a nice dinner, before going to the dance! I've DREAMED of doing something like that for years... but I don't think it will fly with them!, Oh, well. Won't hold it against them...It's his Prom, he needs to have fun and do it his way... it's his memory he is making. And I have 3 more kids I can talk in to doing it in later years!

Matthew: Slowly coming out of his shell. He is in a prestigious band at school, they had a concert a few weeks ago. Matt plays drums, and I could hear him! He did so well! This was a really cute concert... an "April Fools" theme! They had some funny acts in it.... like they started to do a serious number, then a "pizza delivery" boy yelled in the back of the auditorium "PIZZA! Who ordered Pizza?!" The band director and "Pizza boy" play acted off each other for several minutes, making the audience roar with laughter! In all, a great concert. I was so proud of my Matthew... he is so shy and quiet, but he did his part well. He has his own drumset downstairs and plays it well, but he always played quietly at concerts...until this concert. He was on beat, on key, and played several different percussion instruments. He played "bells" (Xylophone) and drums.
He also has done work outside with Steve this week. It has been Spring Break here, Steve stayed home from work to do yard work. He and Matt put up our backyard gate finally, so now we have a closed up backyard. They rototilled the garden to get it ready, burned weeds, and such chores. Matt is growing, too. He is finally as tall as me. But it doesn't stop Sean from giving Matt a hard time! Matt may now be 5 feet tall, but he still only weighs 80 pounds! He is skinny! I guess he doesn't take after me, 5 feet and round! But he doesn't eat much. Steve and Sean can eat us out of house and home... not Matt. Unless, of course, it is a pizza. Or ice cream. He is a junk food junkie! He also loves the outdoors and is looking forward to some upcoming Scout camping trips. Though, he touched Steves heart.. he choose to go with Steve on a trip instead of a Scout trip in the near future. But he is really looking forward to some regular camping trips coming up. And he is happy about his hair... I made him get it cut last month, and all his long curls are finally back! The girls at school are happy, too!

Erin: I really had reservations about home schooling her this year. She was so shy at school, I thought it would throw her into herself more. But she is actually reaching out more! She is finally taking dance classes now, as is Mary. They are putting on an Annie show several different places in the next few weeks. Now all the kids on the block are hanging out with her again with her. They are now ALWAYS here... at least this week! But Erin still prefers her very favorite friend Brickell. I ask Erin if she wants to go back to school next year, she digs in her heels. Maybe she really did just need one on one time with me this year. I don't know how quality it has been... I haven't felt well a lot. But something is working... I like that she is coming out more... doing more lately.
One thing we do a lot of together... is reading! Last year we picked up the "Fablehaven" book, and thoroughly enjoyed it! We got Kim into it... who also got addicted... and some other family members! The second one came out last year too, we devoured that one! The third one comes out tomorrow, we will be the first in line to get it! In between Fablehaven books, we have tried different series. We tried Leven Thumps, it wasn't too bad. It was okay if you can get passed a lot of just plain silliness... like a walking, talking, magical toothpick. A trust in "Fate" instead of "Faith", a magical "dreamworld", and other such things. We tried "Mice and Magic" this summer.... I just couldn't enjoy it! We are still working on the sequel "The Wizard of Ooze." But there have been other books we have shared too. My very favorite is "The Chronicles of Narnia".
Erin also bought herself a rabbit! It is a Jersey Wooley! Gads! Aren't there enough animals around here!? I let her do it, though. This is a sweet, gentle, furry thing that loves you to hold her all the time. Except in her cage! You don't try to pet her there. We learned they are very territorial... and they like their things as they put them. This also includes... HORRORS!... were they.... um.....how do you put this delicately.... potty themselves! This bunny doesn't like Erin cleaning things for her, she objects her "cleaning" her "area" each time Erin reaches in to do it! I kept hearing, "MOM! I reach in to clean Angel's floor, and she LUNGES at me!!!!" After some research, Erin and I discovered Angel was territorial and resented her efforts to clean her "area". And they will "fling" there.... waste... where they want it! UGH!!!! ..... This is worse then when Sean introduced us to the joys of pet rats years ago.... looking back, they were simply a piece of cake!!!!

Mary: Ah, Mary! Not much new on her... she is still ever the active, talkative, friendly and strong-willed little girl she has always been! I love her to pieces, I am absolutely proud of her. And she makes me EXHAUSTED!!!! She is also taking dance lessons. Mary just loves to play with friends in the neighborhood all day long. Barbies, dancing, play acting are the things she loves to do with them, or swinging in the hammock in the backyard with Matt and Erin when friends are not around. Mary is also learning to write her letters... she practices that every chance she gets.
Her favorite thing in the morning is to cuddle with me in the chair for awhile, then demand my homemade cocoa before breakfast. I'm just flattered... but I make her eat, too. This so reminds me of my Matthew when he was little. Matt would drag me out of bed before anyone got up, then have me make a large cup of cocoa. I would put some in a small cup for him, then we would climb on a chair and read. His favorite book was about dinosaurs, and he would guzzle his cocoa while I read to him. And as I read, he would refill his cup with my cup of cocoa. Eventually, he would finish mine and his while in the course of my reading about dinosaurs, and cars. So anyway, Mary is following suit after her brother, but no cocoa will do... only mine! I'm just honored!

Family History: Amazing. I have been looking for my Grandmother Fontaine's father for a long time. Grandma used to tell me stories of her growing up as a small child in France. They had a farm, and at the time she was the only child of Eugene Henry Clement and Anna Zoe Jacob. She remembered her father carrying her around on his shoulders telling her how badly he wanted to travel, and take her with him. He was in the military, and WW1 came. He went off to battle, and was killed. She was 5 years old. She said she had to work hard after that on the farm, as a little girl. She remembers her mother taking her to some river there to wash the clothes on the rocks. There was something about a partician or something separating them from others there washing clothes too. In 1920 or so her mother remarried an American, Donald Agar, and they immigrated to America, winding up in Worcester Massachusetts. I didn't realize it, but grandma did have step-siblings. Grandma married my Grandfather William John Fontaine. Grandma always told me how close she remembered being to her biological father, Eugene Henry Clement. And after marrying grandpa, they traveled so much she didn't see much of her mother after that. I have letters Anna wrote grandma... they sounded sad at times... I think they missed each other. In 1981, Grandma asked me to help her find her mother. I told her I would. I became busy with school, then marriage, family. But I finally found her mother about 2 years ago! Grandma was long gone... as was her mother. Anna had passed away not long after her husband did in 1982 in a nursing home in Ohio. I assume one of Grandma's step siblings lives there.
So last weekend a miracle happened... I found out some more about grandma's genealogy. I started searching French genealogy sites, google will "translate" for you. I found a Geneanet site in France, and what is obviously some sort of relative of mine put Generations of grandma's mothers side on there... going back in some lines to the 1600s. There was so little of her father though. But it did have his birthdate and death date, and it was confirmed to me he was an officer in the French military. I long to find out more of him.
Grandma was such an incredible lady.... a devout Catholic with a deep love of God. And she loved animals. Grandma said that as a child on the farm, she had to work so much she never had playmates, so the animals were her friends. Now, as an adult Grandma was a very friendly lady, she made friends everywhere. I know that the neighbors loved her, I am in touch with some of them still, they say she was very giving. Traveling with Grandpa while raising their children, they were very poor. But they always helped their neighbors, and neighbors helped them, she always said. And I have letters from friends she wrote to for over 50 years. But her animals.... she had a St. Francis of Assisi statue and bird feeder. She always fed the birds, and she also had chickens. Those chickens followed her everywhere! This was after Grandpa retired and they lived on some property with my parents. They had some black angus cows, intending them for food. But grandma of course named them.... they never did become food! Grandma loved them too much! Grandma was a beautiful person! And I am determined to find out more about her father.

Here is 16 year old son playing Hungarian Rhapsody by Franz Lizt. Steve thought he would record him while he practiced in our makeshift piano room! Just when we get this room the way we want it...Sean will be leaving. But hey, if I can get Matt or Erin or Mary to play... and they could if they wanted to. Maybe I'll try bribery, where is the chocolate....?

Family History and miracles!

I have been contemplating lately the miracles I've received while doing my family history. I suppose part of my contemplation comes from the fact that I was just called as one of our Ward's family history consultants. Tonight I got to go to some training, using the new Family Search program. It isn't in our area yet, but the program is really something to look forward to! But boy, I have errors to correct in the work I have done for both my father's family and my mother's family.

Sigh. My dear mother's family, a place I have labored the last few years with much love. This labor has resulted in some beautiful blessings.

Just before my beautiful mother passed away several years ago, I had the privilege of helping her as she battled Laryngeal Cancer. During the daily trips to Lubbock Texas for her radiation treatment I would ask her what memories she had of her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and etc. I knew the answer, I just wanted to double check. Yep, I was right. She didn't have any memories of any family. She did say she had some vague memory when she was quite small of "an old house, with some older women there, and old furniture." But Grandpa Fontaine had quit work in the factory to work on the race tracks. As a consequence, Grandma and Grandpa Fontaine, my mother and her sister traveled throughout the United States, eventually settling in California. My mother's two brothers joined the family during these times too. They never returned to Massachusetts.

Mom passed away in 2004. I still miss her. But shortly after she left me for heaven, the miracles began.

I had a dream. In this dream I was walking through an old, empty home. From the house I entered what looked like an old, empty barn that had faucets or showers or something in it. And there was a cement wall that separated an area leading to a field. My Grandpa Fontaine entered through a door that lead to this grassy field, and sat on a table. He looked young, and he looked sad. I said, "Grandpa! Why are you sad?!" He said, "Two beautiful books." I said, "Grandpa, I will find your two beautiful books, I will! Please don't be sad!" He repeated the same words, while hanging his head in sadness, "Two beautiful books." I said again, "Grandpa I will find the books!" Then I woke up. I knew Grandpa had a brother named Ben, but the thought immediately crossed my mind that he had both a brother and a sister. I never knew this.

The following Saturday my dear friend Isabelle and I took a trip to the Salt Lake Family History Center. I spent the day looking up any records I could on the Fontaine family in Worcester Massachusetts. I found a lot! I found my Grandfather's father, and HIS father! I found my Grandfather's parents marriage record. And I found my Grandpa in two census records with his parents. Yep, there as big as day....he had a brother and a sister! The brother was Ben, the sister was Mable. But wait...the next census has her listed as Mary!

I spent much time studying this discrepancy. Finally I got on the Genealogy.com website, and clicked on to the message boards. I left a message about my Fontaine family there, then never gave it another thought. I did dig through my mother's boxes and found holiday cards that her mother had received. Some of those cards were signed "your sister May." Was May short for Mable?

I clicked on my E-mail one day and saw that "Bud and Diane" had written me. Was I reading that right? I was confused since my brother's name is Bud, but my husband's sister is Diane. Why on earth were they writing me together. I must not be seeing that correctly I thought. I looked again...yep, my brother was listed there with Steve's sister. Huh? I opened it. ( A truly daring thing to do! What prompted me?!) Diane explained who she was, the wife of....my mother's cousin! We didn't know each other but she had seen my post on Genealogy.com and they were doing some research and did we want to swap information! I yelled, I cried, and shouted for joy! These were the things that happened to everyone else...but me?! Over the course of time we exchanged pictures--she had more pictures of my Grandfather, and she sent me pictures of Ben, Fred and Agnes (their parents), her own family, and lots of information. I sent her only a few pictures since I didn't have any. And she solved the problem I had with Grandpa's sister. Her name was May!

Over the last several years I have grown to love Bud and Diane. We have never met. We have e-mailed each other, and we have spoken on the phone sometimes. They are such beautiful, wonderful people. My mother would have absolutely loved them. I get to know them for her, though. This family has a farm, and they are family oriented people. These are the things my mother loved, and she passed this love of family on to me. (I am to much of a weakling to farm! I do grow a garden though!)

Recently, I have come in contact with one of May's grandson's. He has shared with me the little bit of information on Agnes, Grandpa's mother, that he has. A true miracle I think.

How blessed I am to have felt the love of my Heavenly Father, and the closeness of my mother, her father, and other family members as I have done this work. Words can't express the feelings I have had doing this research. In Malachi we read, "For He will turn the hearts of the father's to the children, and the hearts of the children to the father's, else I will smite the earth with a curse". I have felt my heart turn to my forefathers, and have felt deeply sacred spiritual emotions in the process. It is truly the work of God.

Letting Go.

I cried tonight! Yep, like a baby. Out of my 5 living children, only 3 may be home this time next year! Kim, my oldest, is a student at the University only 20 miles from home. She can come home anytime she wants! She just hops a bus and we pick her up at our local bus stop. So seeing her leave for college this fall wasn't so hard. Well, yes it was, but it has been a good experience for her. I think she has learned there are many things she can do, that she never realized she could. The bonus of this has been that I'm frequently in that area, so I can drop off anything she needs like frozen chicken and homemade cocoa mix, or take her out to lunch so we can talk. Naturally, I assumed my 2nd oldest, Sean, would do the same next year. But he just announced he may go to a college that is an hour and a half away from home in the fall. He is busy applying to different University's now, and he could get some good scholarships. But I am not ready!





Sean and I have always been able to talk. Through all the stages teenagers have gone through, he has always been able to come to me and talk about whatever it is he needs to chat about. Something happening at school? We would go out and buy a five dollar pizza, sit in the car, and talk about it for a couple of hours. Or maybe it was something he did that needed talking about--we would go buy a breakfast meal at the "One Man Band" down the street and talk. We also share a huge love for music. When he was young we would listen to classical music together, or Yanni or whatever. Then he turned 12, and heavy metal was his thing! I didn't ban the music though, we sat down and listened to it together. I taught him to be careful of the lyrics and the message of the song, but I learned so much during this time too. I realized that teenage boys really like power music. I also learned how incredibly talented he is. He can hear things in music I never realized was there, music techniques I never heard of. He would say, "Mom, don't you hear that 3rd there? It is SO COOL how that sounds with..." He would go on and on. I learned about all the Rock Bands out there...and even learned to like some of them. It's tapered to reasonable now. But his love for Rock music reminded me how much I loved it too, and we began the battle of "Who's rock is cooler, my 70's stuff or his?" We would compare Van Halen with Dragonforce. Who has the better guitar!? Music blared in the house! But rock music gives way to classical music once he sits at the piano. I never heard the Hungarian Rhapsody until he learned to play it. And his music teacher thinks he has a great interpretation of Beethovan.





Our piano was literally a gift from heaven I believe. Years ago I began my genealogy research on my father's side. Apparently my father's father Merrill Boyer could play piano by ear. He acquired this gift from his own mother, Allie. Allie could play by ear, and HER mother was a piano teacher. I used to love singing, but always wanted to play the piano but that opportunity was never mine. I was touched by this new information, and prayed that someday music could be in my home too. My husband said he would love a piano, but he wanted an upright grand with heavy wood, and ornate decor. I looked in the classifieds, and there was an old upright grand for sale for only $200. I took a look at it, it needed quite a bit of work like repainting, cleaning, and new keys...and we bought it anyway. Hubby is talented, he put in the work and fixed it up!





Then Sean came along. He was singing perfect pitch by 18 months of age. I would play his xylophone and he would follow me up and down the scales. I'd like to think my singing to him as a baby helped...but I am tone deaf I think! By 8 he was playing very well, by 9 he was playing piano in Primary and Church. Today, he is our Ward (Church) organist. Maybe Heavenly Father gave him the gift of music to bless his family, both his family now and in the future. Who knows? It sure has been fun though.





And now it's time for College. He's putting in application's, thinking of moving out for a bit. And I'm crying! I need to get a grip! This is what we train them for. We teach them to be responsible for themselves, to value education, to plan for their future. We teach that initiative is needed in life, and to have a work ethic. Now I need to be proud, sit back, and support whatever decisions he makes. And really, maybe an hour and a half isn't so far, I can bring him frozen chickens too, it is just a little farther. I won't be in his area near as often as I am his sister's. I'll try not to cry, TOO much if that's where he chooses to go!





Two kids now out of five...how did this happen so fast? And shouldn't I be proud of both of them? They are making good decisions, they are good people. When they were born, I learned to hold them close, to love them so deeply, to nurture and guide. Now, it is time to let them go and see them soar!





Here is a recording from my phone of his piano playing: