Letting Go.

I cried tonight! Yep, like a baby. Out of my 5 living children, only 3 may be home this time next year! Kim, my oldest, is a student at the University only 20 miles from home. She can come home anytime she wants! She just hops a bus and we pick her up at our local bus stop. So seeing her leave for college this fall wasn't so hard. Well, yes it was, but it has been a good experience for her. I think she has learned there are many things she can do, that she never realized she could. The bonus of this has been that I'm frequently in that area, so I can drop off anything she needs like frozen chicken and homemade cocoa mix, or take her out to lunch so we can talk. Naturally, I assumed my 2nd oldest, Sean, would do the same next year. But he just announced he may go to a college that is an hour and a half away from home in the fall. He is busy applying to different University's now, and he could get some good scholarships. But I am not ready!





Sean and I have always been able to talk. Through all the stages teenagers have gone through, he has always been able to come to me and talk about whatever it is he needs to chat about. Something happening at school? We would go out and buy a five dollar pizza, sit in the car, and talk about it for a couple of hours. Or maybe it was something he did that needed talking about--we would go buy a breakfast meal at the "One Man Band" down the street and talk. We also share a huge love for music. When he was young we would listen to classical music together, or Yanni or whatever. Then he turned 12, and heavy metal was his thing! I didn't ban the music though, we sat down and listened to it together. I taught him to be careful of the lyrics and the message of the song, but I learned so much during this time too. I realized that teenage boys really like power music. I also learned how incredibly talented he is. He can hear things in music I never realized was there, music techniques I never heard of. He would say, "Mom, don't you hear that 3rd there? It is SO COOL how that sounds with..." He would go on and on. I learned about all the Rock Bands out there...and even learned to like some of them. It's tapered to reasonable now. But his love for Rock music reminded me how much I loved it too, and we began the battle of "Who's rock is cooler, my 70's stuff or his?" We would compare Van Halen with Dragonforce. Who has the better guitar!? Music blared in the house! But rock music gives way to classical music once he sits at the piano. I never heard the Hungarian Rhapsody until he learned to play it. And his music teacher thinks he has a great interpretation of Beethovan.





Our piano was literally a gift from heaven I believe. Years ago I began my genealogy research on my father's side. Apparently my father's father Merrill Boyer could play piano by ear. He acquired this gift from his own mother, Allie. Allie could play by ear, and HER mother was a piano teacher. I used to love singing, but always wanted to play the piano but that opportunity was never mine. I was touched by this new information, and prayed that someday music could be in my home too. My husband said he would love a piano, but he wanted an upright grand with heavy wood, and ornate decor. I looked in the classifieds, and there was an old upright grand for sale for only $200. I took a look at it, it needed quite a bit of work like repainting, cleaning, and new keys...and we bought it anyway. Hubby is talented, he put in the work and fixed it up!





Then Sean came along. He was singing perfect pitch by 18 months of age. I would play his xylophone and he would follow me up and down the scales. I'd like to think my singing to him as a baby helped...but I am tone deaf I think! By 8 he was playing very well, by 9 he was playing piano in Primary and Church. Today, he is our Ward (Church) organist. Maybe Heavenly Father gave him the gift of music to bless his family, both his family now and in the future. Who knows? It sure has been fun though.





And now it's time for College. He's putting in application's, thinking of moving out for a bit. And I'm crying! I need to get a grip! This is what we train them for. We teach them to be responsible for themselves, to value education, to plan for their future. We teach that initiative is needed in life, and to have a work ethic. Now I need to be proud, sit back, and support whatever decisions he makes. And really, maybe an hour and a half isn't so far, I can bring him frozen chickens too, it is just a little farther. I won't be in his area near as often as I am his sister's. I'll try not to cry, TOO much if that's where he chooses to go!





Two kids now out of five...how did this happen so fast? And shouldn't I be proud of both of them? They are making good decisions, they are good people. When they were born, I learned to hold them close, to love them so deeply, to nurture and guide. Now, it is time to let them go and see them soar!





Here is a recording from my phone of his piano playing: